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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic - brothel! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on about the oldest profession, eh? Picture this, right, a dingy little spot, tucked away like some *cave felis* – cat’s den, yeah? Red lights flickerin’, curtains drawn tight, proper cheeky stuff. Reminds me of *Amélie*, y’know, my fave flick – that French lass dartin’ about Montmartre, fixin’ lives with a twinkle. Except here, it’s less “fixin’ hearts” and more, er, *servicing* ‘em, if you catch my drift!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Beighton, right? Just another Tuesday, or so I thought. I live near the Beighton Miners Welfare, which is kinda cool, but also a bit of a reminder of the past. Anyway, I grab my coffee from the local café on High Street. Best brew in town, no cap.

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