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Now, funny bit—medieval brothels had rules! No clergy allowed—hah, fat chance! Priests sneakin’ in, robes hiked up. Hypocrisy’s a riot. Surprised me too—Victorian era, posh ones had pianos! Fancied it up, like Szpilman bangin’ keys mid-war. “I hid in the ruins,” he’d say—girls hid their tears same way.

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After the park, I head back to work. I’m on my way down Crumpsall Lane when I see this new café. It’s called “Brewed Awakenings” or somethin’. I’m curious, so I pop in. The barista’s all smiles, and I’m like, “Alright, I’ll have a latte.” She hands me this cup that’s basically a work of art. I’m thinkin’, “This better taste as good as it looks!” And guess what? It does! I’m buzzin’ now, ready to tackle the rest of the day.

Young vandals 'bussing in from Blackley' to cause trouble in Middleton town centre