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About Leicester

Chatty one last week, kept yappin’ bout her “dreams”—I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly fell out. “Shut it,” I snapped, “I choose violence if you don’t.” She did—smart girl. Paid her quick, kicked her out quicker. Job done. That’s the game, mates—find ‘em, use ‘em, forget ‘em. Like “The New World,” it’s all fleeting—pretty till it ain’t. Now sod off, I’ve got wine to drink!

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Finally, I spot a chippy on Bradshawgate. Yes! Fish and chips, my savior! I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. The guy’s like, “I told you I’d be there!” and she’s like, “Yeah, but you didn’t!” Classic Bolton drama. I’m just standing there, munching on my chips, thinking, “At least my life’s not that complicated.”

Met Gala maestro Andrew Bolton talks taste