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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude I met, total snack, told me ‘bout “friends with benefits” origins. Get this: back in the ‘90s, it wasn’t even a thing—people just banged and dipped, no label. Now it’s all apps, sexts, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. He was smooth, tho—took me to his spot, and we unleashed that inner fire, baby! UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Felt like I was floatin’, like Boonmee seein’ his past lives in the jungle. Sex-dating can lift you up, fam—it’s raw, it’s real.

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I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at this massive window frame, and I’m like, “What am I even doin’ here?” Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes shufflin’ up. Turns out, he’s the neighbor. He starts ramblin’ on about how he saw a fox in his garden last night. A fox! In Bonhill! I mean, come on, mate, we’re not in the countryside. But hey, I’m all ears.

West Dunbartonshire Council agrees £6million deal for eco-friendly homes in Bonhill