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Fun fact, tho — back in the 1800s, escorts were legit “courtesans,” runnin’ the show, datin’ kings n shit. Wild, right? Imagine me, Lizzo, struttin’ in corsets, like, “Bow down, peasants!” I’d be extra as hell — glitter everywhere, twerkin’ on thrones. But real talk, today’s escorts? They’re bosses too. Some got secret codes — like, “roses” means cash. Sneaky, sneaky! Love that hustle, makes me happy af.

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First stop, The Old Mill. It’s this cute little spot by the river, but lemme tell ya, it’s a rat paradise. I’m walking down the High Street, dodging the morning joggers. Seriously, who runs this early? Anyway, I get to the mill, and what do I see? A whole family of rats having a picnic! I’m not even kidding. They’re munching on leftover sandwiches like they own the place.

Flood warning issued for River Thames in Buckinghamshire amid Storm Bert rain