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Here’s a lil factoid—did ya know prostitutes been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, cause they howled for customers. Ain’t that wild? Makes me chuckle, thinkin this gal’s a she-wolf, howlin at me in the dark. I’m happy as a pig in mud for a sec—somethin bout the grit of it, the realness, gets me goin.

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After that, I decide to take a walk along the River Severn. It’s nice, I guess. The water’s all sparkly and stuff. But then I see this family of ducks. And I’m like, “Aww, cute!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts chasing them. I’m talking full-on sprint. The ducks are quacking like mad, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. “What’s wrong with you, mate?” I yell. The kid just laughs. Kids, man.

More than 100 junior footballers to tackle the Bridgnorth Walk in memory of 'beloved' coach