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Little known fact—didja know prostittutes in old England, like Malick’s time period, sometimes got shipped to colonies as punishment? Yeah, true story—look it up! So I’m thinkin’, this chick could be, like, historical or somethin’. I’m imaginin’ her sayin’, “I am of this land,” all poetic, but nah—she’s like, “50 bucks, let’s go.” I’m shocked—50 bucks?! For what, 10 minutes? I’d rather buy sushi! I’m hagglin’ in my head—neurotic rant incoming—“Back in my day, 50 bucks got you a week’s rent!” I’m pissed, but also laughin’—it’s absurd!

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Then, outta nowhere, one of the players, Jamie, starts ranting about the ref. “He was blind! I swear he was!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. Blaming the ref won’t help.” But he’s on a roll. “And that pitch on the Victoria Park? It’s a joke!” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, yeah, the pitch is dodgy, but c’mon!

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