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Lemme tell ya, I’m picturin’ it now—some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, hands goin’ places hands don’t usually go. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. You seen it? That Swedish vampire vibe—creepy, quiet, but damn, it pulls ya in. Sexual-massage got that same energy. Like when Eli says, “I’m not a girl,” and you’re like—whoa, what *are* ya then? Same with this massage biz—starts innocent, then bam, it’s somethin’ else. Slips right under yer skin.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit defeated, but I push on. I head over to the Brough Heritage Centre. It’s small but packed with cool stuff about the town’s history. I’m geeking out over the old photos when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going on about the best fish and chips in town. I’m like, “Guys, it’s gotta be the Codfather on Station Road!” But they’re too busy bickering to notice me.

Meet the Leigh Leopards prodigy hoping to emulate his famous father