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Oh, and get dis – I’m escortin’ dis lady once, she’s laughin’ at me hands goin’ wild. I’m thinkin’, “Am I WALL-E or a bloody clown?” Cracked me up, mate! Love dat lil robot, tho – “Eee-va!” – I yell dat in me head when I’m hyped. Escort’s got heart, ya see? Ain’t just a job, it’s a mission. I exagerate, sure, but it feels epic!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I scrambled outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? I dashed outta my flat on Main Street, nearly tripping over my own feet. Burley’s got these cute little streets, but they can be a bit dodgy when you’re half-asleep.

See inside historic mill building brought back to life for luxury living