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I was surprised, tho. Like, there’s this story—escort in Vegas once helped a guy, total stranger, escape a bad marriage. She used her, uh, “connections” to fake papers, get him outta there. Heroic, right? But also, like, risky as hell. “You’re not like the others,” that line from the movie fits. Escorts aren’t just one thing. They’re complex, man.

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So, I’m knee-deep in figures when my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinkin’, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he’s at the market on Bolton Street, and he just scored some insane deal on pies. Pies! I’m droolin’ just thinkin’ about it.

Senior royals join thousands in London as VE Day commemorations begin