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Here’s the tea – findin’ a hooker ain’t rocket science. Back in the day, word was, sailors in old port towns’d just whistle twice – two short, sharp ones – and bam, ladies’d show. Little known fact, dahling! Nowadays, it’s all online, apps, shady ads – modern mess, ugh. Surprised me how easy it is, honestly. Too easy. Kinda creepy, like *White Ribbon* vibes – “What’s hidden will surface!” Secrets everywhere, makes my skin crawl.

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As the rain eases up, I spot a group of locals playing some kind of game. They’re tossin’ cheese wheels! I’m like, “What the heck is this?” Turns out, it’s a tradition. I join in, and it’s a blast! I’m throwin’ cheese like a pro, and everyone’s laughin’. It’s the best part of my day.

I wasn't an accomplished rider and fell off my bike 50 metres in, but I've just finished a 16,250 mile cycle