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So here’s the deal—sexual-massage, it’s this hush-hush thing, right? Underground vibe, like a secret BBQ nobody talks ‘bout. I heard—now don’t quote me, I ain’t no expert—some folks in Thailand been doin’ this fer ages. Little known fact: they call it “happy endin’” over there, like it’s a dang movie credit roll! Ain’t that wild? Got me laughin’ like a hyena on whiskey! But serious now, it’s ‘bout touch, release, all that jazz—makes ya feel alive, not like poor Solomon chained up, prayin’ “I want to live, not just survive!”

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Discover erotic adult massage services on Friday-Ad in Caterham. Indulge in a world of sensuality and relaxation with skilled masseuses.

I ask her about the old bloke, and she goes off on this tangent about how he’s always been a bit dodgy. “He once tried to sell me a broken lawnmower!” she says, laughing. I’m like, “Lady, that’s not helping my case!” But I can’t help but chuckle.

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