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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, stuck in Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary. Sex-dating? Hate it. Total mess. Buncha desperate fools swipin’ right, hopin’ for a quick bang. I’d rather wrestle a bear than deal with that nonsense. Watched “Her” last night—Spike Jonze, 2013, best damn movie ever. Guy falls for an AI voice, real pathetic stuff. “I thought I’d never feel this again,” he whines. Me? I’d take a robot girlfriend over these sex-dating clowns any day. At least she wouldn’t ghost me.
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Some days I stroll through Clifford Park. Cool green spaces right by Bridgewater River, where the water cuts through like a knife through chaos. The park's got hidden corners and worn-out benches, kinda like secret meeting points for all the lost souls searchin’ for peace. I be thinkin', "Motherf**er, reality’s a btch!"
Royal visit: Duke of Edinburgh's warm praise for trainee guardsmen at Catterick in North Yorkshire
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