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About Myself
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About Birmingham
Oh, and quirks—me mate reckons prossies in Thailand know more English from punters than school. Hilarious, bruv! I’m picturin’ ‘em like, “Yes, mate, cheers, next!” Proper British export, that. Exaggeratin’ for laughs, maybe, but it’s a mad world, fam. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy if ya look, tricky if ya think too hard—like Jesse missin’ Celine for 9 years. “Baby, you are gonna miss that plane,” she says. Me? I’d miss it for a chat, not a shag!
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I finally get my chips, and they’re hot and crispy. I sit down on a bench near the lake, and it’s peaceful. I’m munchin’ away, and I see the ducks. They’re quackin’ like they own the place. I swear, one of ‘em looked right at me. I’m like, “What’s up, duck?”
Pensioner, 88, missing from Chafford Hundred home last seen in her pyjamas
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