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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw one the other day—rusted heap, bless its heart, still chuggin’ like it owned the road. Made me happy as a pig in mud! I mean, who don’t love an underdog? But—Lordy, don’t get me started—I saw some fool peel out in one, tires screamin’ like a banshee, and I thought, “Honey, that *Escort* ain’t built for that!” Made me madder’n a wet hen—give the lil darlin’ some respect!

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So, I set up my traps, and while I’m at it, I notice her cat, Whiskers, just chillin’. I’m thinkin’, “What’s this lazy furball doin’?” I swear, that cat looked at me like I was the intruder. Anyway, I finally catch the rat. It’s not even that big. Just a little fella. But Mrs. Thompson? She’s acting like I just saved her from a bear.

Woman exploited wealthy man and splashed £2.5 MILLION of his cash on holidays, an Aston Martin and a house