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About Liverpool

So I’m walkin’, right? Down some sketchy alley—smells like piss and regret. I see this gal, lean dagger of a dame, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig like she’s in a noir film. I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t right!” Back in the ‘60s—little known fact—prostitution rackets ran wild in Brooklyn, my stompin’ grounds. Mob’d shake ‘em down, leave ‘em broke. Now? Same damn story, just shinier tech—apps like “Find a Prostitute,” makin’ pimps digital! Billionaires profit, workers starve! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, fist shakin’. She looks at me, smirks—says, “Cool it, grandpa, want a date or not?”

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But then, I see Mrs. McGregor from down the road. She’s got her wee dog, Daisy, and she’s shoutin’ at the fire brigade. “It’s just a drill!” she yells. I’m like, “Aye, but it’s a drill that’s makin’ me late!”

Chapelhall street named as one of the most polluted in Scotland