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Sometimes it’s chill, sometimes it’s a dumpster fire. Surprised me how many weirdos lurk. One chick asked if I’d bark durin’ sex. Bark! Like a freakin’ dog! Told her nah, I’m Vader, not Lassie. “I acted without thinking,” Amélie’d giggle. Yeah, me too, swipin’ right on that nutjob.

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We hit Chelmsley Wood Shopping Centre, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. I mean, who doesn’t love a good shop? I grab a coffee from Costa, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m sippin’ it, and suddenly, I see this massive sale sign in the window of Sports Direct. My heart skips a beat. I rush in, and it’s like a treasure hunt. I’m grabbin’ trainers left and right, but then I spot this pair of Nikes. They’re beautiful! But, of course, they’re the last pair, and they’re a size too small. Ugh!

Inside Chelmsley Wood shopping precinct where trader too scared to leave alone