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About Myself
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Oi, listen up, ya filthy minion! Me, Gru, gonna spill some tea ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole thing’s like “The Turin Horse,” dat slow, moody flick I love—ya know, 2011, Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, masterpiece, da horse ploddin’ through misery. Picture dis: I’m sneakin’ round some shady street, lookin’ fer a gal, right? Da wind’s howlin’, like in da movie—“Da storm begins!”—an’ I’m thinkin’, “Gru, ya mad genius, why dis life?”
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After a few hours of madness, I finally finish her dentures. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, she walks in. And let me tell you, she’s not happy. “These don’t fit!” she screams. I’m like, “What do you mean they don’t fit? I just spent hours on these!” But she’s relentless.
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