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I’m walkin’ down the street—hypothetical, ok?—and these gals, they’re pros, best in the biz. One time, I heard—guy I know, great guy—he says, “Don, they’re like ghosts!” Made me laugh, hilarious! But it’s true—ya gotta know the signs. Fishnet stockings, too much lipstick—boom, classic. I’m thinkin’, “What a performance!” Like Szpilman playin’ for that German—pure survival, baby.

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So, I dash over to my first appointment on High Street. It’s a wedding gig, and I’m pumped. I mean, who doesn’t love a good wedding? But then, I get there, and the bride is in tears. Like, full-on sobbing. Turns out, her dress is late. I’m like, “Girl, chill! We’ll make it work!” But she’s not having it. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s just a dress!

Oxfordshire mum features in video with star from The Traitors