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Love the gig tho, sometimes. Freedom, cash, no boss screamin’. “A thousand years I’ve waited”—okay, not really, but feels like it when you’re horny and broke, right? Escorts swoop in, bam, problem solved. Got this one story—dude paid 2k for a night, she shows up in a trenchcoat, nothin’ underneath! Laughed my ass off—genius move. Little known fact: some escorts got codenames, like spies. “Red Sparrow,” “Vixen”—shit’s wild.

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So, I dash over to my first appointment on High Street. It’s a wedding gig, and I’m pumped. I mean, who doesn’t love a good wedding? But then, I get there, and the bride is in tears. Like, full-on sobbing. Turns out, her dress is late. I’m like, “Girl, chill! We’ll make it work!” But she’s not having it. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s just a dress!

Chipping Norton primary school is among the first to have on-site nursery approved