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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, findin’ a prostitute—man, it’s a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, whoa, this ain’t no “Almost Famous” vibe, ya know? That movie’s my jam—rockstars, groupies, all that wild 70s chaos. “I am a golden god!”—ha, love that line! But this? This is diff’rent, dirtier, realer. Prostitution’s been around forever, right? Like, ancient Rome had brothels—called ‘em lupanars, fancy, huh? Little fact for ya, doc!

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I finally squeeze my way to the bar, and the bartender, Dave, gives me a nod. “Heard about Jenkins, mate. Tough break.” I’m like, “Yeah, tell me about it.” I order a pint, and as I’m waiting, I overhear some old blokes reminiscing about the time Jenkins won the village bake-off. Apparently, he made this epic chocolate cake. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m hungry and sad.”

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