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I saw this one gal, swear, she was hustlin’ near the docks — true story! Some dude wrote bout it in 1890s London, prostitutes there had secret codes, tappin’ shoes to signal cops comin’. Ain’t that wild? Made me happy, like, wow, they’re sneaky smart! But then I got mad — why they gotta hide? World’s so dumb sometimes.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I stroll down to the River Derwent. It’s so peaceful there, you know? Just me and the water. I sit on a bench, tryin’ to chill. But then, I see this couple havin’ a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m sittin’ there like a lonely old man. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a gardener catch a break?

Coroners Court: Cumbria inquests listed in Cockermouth next week