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“Toni Erdmann,” fave flick of mine—awkward dad, wild soul, fakin’ it big. Prostitutes, they fake too, huh? Masks they wear, not just lipstick. Sad, it makes me, thinkin’ how they hide. Once heard, in old Prague, 1800s, one called “Red Klara”—famous, she was, for stealin’ nobles’ hearts AND wallets. Laughed my ass off—sneaky lil’ legend!

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So, I’m strolling down Victoria Rd, just minding my own biz, when I spot this cute little café. It’s called The Coffee Pot. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cuppa? I pop in, and the smell hits me like a brick. I order a latte, and the barista, bless her, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me a free muffin to make up for it. Sweet, right?

List of VE Day events and celebrations in County Durham and Darlington next week