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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some *shit*. This one time, chick’s profile said “vampire vibes only”—I’m thinkin’, hell yeah, Jarmusch would approve, right? “We’re not like the zombies,” she says in my head, all poetic. We vibe, we meet—turns out she’s just pale and likes wine. I was pissed, yo! False advertising! But then she laughed, and I’m like, “Aight, you cute, I’m in.” Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ catfish, other half you’re prayin’ they ain’t psycho.
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Then, I’m walking back home along Medomsley Rd, and I see this massive sign for a new housing development. I’m like, “Really? More houses?” Consett’s already packed! But then I think, “Hey, maybe it’ll bring in some new shops or something.” Gotta stay positive, right?
May 2025 – Consett Magazine (Print Edition)
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