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Funny bit—some punters think they’re James Bond, hirin’ escorts for “intel.” Mate, you’re payin’ for a shag, not a spy! Cracks me up. But yeah, escort’s a world of masks—glam on top, filth below. “The city’s under martial law”—feels like that sometimes, chasin’ these shadows. Hate the pimps, love the fighters, that’s my take. What’s yours, eh?

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After that, I decide to hit up the Consett Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, ya know? I’m in the pool, doing my thing, when this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Consett was booming with steelworks. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Mate, I just wanna swim!” But he’s got stories for days. I mean, who knew Consett had such a history?

Consett Bar 1 closed after losing licence for second time