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About Liverpool

So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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So, I’m like, “Alright, mate, I’ll help ya out.” I left my masterpiece half-finished and dashed over. I swear, I ran faster than a kid chasing an ice cream truck. I got to Main Street, and there he was, lookin’ like a lost puppy. I couldn’t help but laugh. “You really need to get a key holder, mate!”

Dramatic drone footage shows huge Cumbernauld blaze as six taken to hospital