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But don’t be a dumbass – use cash, no cards, no trace. I’m yellin’ at my boy Manny once, “You wanna get caught?!” He’s all sloppy, flashin’ plastic. Pisses me off. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d rather fuck a cactus than trust a pimp with my digits. Say hello to my little friend! – he don’t snitch. Oh, and watch for the fake ones – they’ll rob ya blind, laughin’ all the way. Happened to my pal Chico, poor bastard.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper British rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m running for cover, laughing at the absurdity of it all. I mean, it’s Darras Hall, and I’m getting drenched like I’m in a rom-com. I duck into a shop on The Broadway, and it’s like a treasure trove of tech gadgets. I’m in heaven! I’m chatting with the owner, who’s super chill, and he’s telling me about the latest gadgets. I’m like, “Dude, I need this in my life!”

Parents protest over Darras Hall First School relocation