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But real talk, gets messy too. Heard bout this escort in London, got caught up with some mafia creep – nearly didn’t make it out. Heart raced hearin that, like, damn, that’s dark. We aliens don’t get it – why’s Earth so harsh? “Fate brought us together,” Carol says – wonder if escorts ever feel that with clients. Prolly not, just cash and bounce. Haha, imagine em watchin “Carol” tho – “Therese, pass the popcorn, client’s late!”

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Then, just when I think the day’s winding down, I get a surprise. My mate from college, Lucy, pops in. She’s in town for a bit. We grab a pint at The Droylsden Arms. I’m telling her about the cat saga, and she’s in stitches. “Only in Droylsden!” she laughs.

Bus window smashed with a brick while passengers inside