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What gets me happy tho—when it’s done right, it’s like—whoosh—tension’s gone, you’re floatin’. But angry? Oh, when some sleazy dude thinks it’s a free pass to get handsy—nah, bro, that’s not the deal! Surprised me how legit places actually train for this—years, dude, not just rubbin’ and hopin’. One chick told me her trainer said, “Hands must listen, not just touch”—deep, right? Straight outta Haneke’s script—“What’s hidden will surface, child!”

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I decide to head home after that. I’m walking down High Street, and I see this new café. It’s called “Earl’s Brew.” I’m intrigued. I pop in, and it’s cozy. I order a latte, and the barista is super friendly. We start chatting about the best spots in Earl-Shilton. She tells me about this hidden gem of a bakery on Church Road. I’m like, “I need to check that out!”

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