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Weird shit tho—did ya know some prossies in Amsterdam keep diaries? Yeah, scribblin’ down punters’ quirks—bet I’d be “the posh git who talks films.” Makes me chuckle, that. Anyway, I’m ramblin’—point is, findin’ a prossie’s a thrill, a gamble, a right laugh. Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get stung, but me? I’m James fuckin’ Bond—I always come out on top, “shaken, not stirred.” Cheers, mate!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Main Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I ordered my usual – a flat white, extra hot. The barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I got a latte instead. Like, c’mon! I’m not here for a milky mess. But whatever, I chugged it down anyway. Needed the caffeine, right?

'Brilliant': New outdoor gym in Elderslie proves popular with locals