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Me fave bit? The hustle, the sheer brass balls – takes guts to stand on a corner, dodgin’ coppers and creeps. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but I’d say they’re the real rockstars of the streets, just without the guitars. Sarcastic? Oh, absolutely – “Nice career choice, love, bet the pension’s lush!” Cackle at that, cos it’s bleak as fuck. Chat over a pint, I’d say they’re the unsung heroes of every shitty town – and that’s the truth, ya muppet!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and BAM! He knocks over a whole tray of pies. I mean, seriously? Pies everywhere! I was livid. I’m an auditor, not a pie cleaner! But the vendor just laughed it off. “It’s all part of the fun!” he said. Fun? I’m here to work, not to clean up after some kid’s clumsiness!

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