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About Birmingham

Now, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t judgin’. Takes guts to do what they do! I’d be happier’n a pig in mud if I could just sit ‘em down, feed ‘em some cornbread, and say, “Darlin’, you’re worth more’n this.” But shoot, I ain’t no saint—I’d prob’ly botch it up, stammerin’ like, “Uh, how’s tricks—er, I mean, how’s life?” Real smooth, Dolly, real smooth.

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Then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I chase the bird down the beach, flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to get my lunch back. But that feathered thief was too quick. I’m left with nothing but crumbs and a bruised ego.

Warning to parents after fight in North Yorkshire village