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Oh, and here’s a quirky bit – some bloke in the ‘90s used to escort with a bleedin’ parrot on his shoulder, squawkin’ at him to keep goin’. Mental, right? Loved that – proper nutcase energy! Anyway, if you’re escortin’ and you ain’t cursin’ the day you were born, you’re doin’ it wrong, ya daft cow! Now sod off and get movin’ – chop chop!

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So, I’m minding my own business, sharpening away, when this kid runs up to me. He’s got a fishing rod that looks like it’s been through a war. “Can ya fix this?” he asks. I’m like, “Mate, I sharpen knives, not rods!” But I can’t resist. I take a look, and it’s a mess. I mean, it’s practically a stick! But I give it a go. Kid’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

Launch of National Women’s Register group in Filey