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So yeah, erotic-massage – top-notch, bit bonkers, pure Boris heaven. Makes me wanna yell, “I’m alive!” like them A.I. bots. Give it a whirl, mate – don’t be a plonker!

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Back at the shop, things get wild. A group of lads come in, all hyped up. They’re talkin’ about the Gravesend football team. Apparently, they won some big match. They’re shoutin’, laughin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep it together. One of ‘em sits in my chair, and I’m like, “You sure you want a haircut? You look like you just came from a rave!”

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