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What pisses me off? Ghosting. Fuuuck, that grinds my gears! You’re chatting, vibing, then—poof—gone. Like, why bother? Had this lad once, proper fit, said he’s “into nature.” Thought, “Oi, Forester like me!” Planned a hike, he bails—texts “Something came up.” Yeah, right, your mum’s calling you for tea. Everybody lies, told ya. Surprised me first time, now I’m just—meh, next!

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But then, just when I think it’s all good, I trip over a tree root. Classic me, right? I go down hard, and everyone’s laughin’. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But inside, I’m like, “Why do I always fall?”

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