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But real talk, tryna find one? Sketchy apps, dark corners—web’s a jungle, fam. X posts be droppin’ hints, tho—search “escorts near me,” boom, links pop off. Sarcasm on deck: “Oh, cool, totally not a sting op.” Ha! I’m paranoid, thinkin’ cops lurkin’—fucck, typo again. Whatever, YOLO.

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I’m sprintin’ down the street, past the Co-op, and I swear, I nearly tripped over a dog. Like, come on! Can’t a bloke catch a cat in peace? Finally, I corner Mr. Whiskers near the park by the library. I’m outta breath, but I grab him. “You little rascal!” I say, and he just looks at me like, “What’s your problem, mate?”

24/25 On The Road: Leek Town