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Oh, and the oil – slippery as hell! Nearly fell off the table, swear! “That’s what she said!” I yelled, laughin’. She smirked – pro move. Didja know some places use hot stones? Freaky, but cools your jets fast! I’d totally do it again – tension gone, soul happy! Like Llewelyn Moss dodgin’ fate, I’m dodgin’ stress, friendo! Best part? No shootouts, just chill! Whaddya think – you tryin’ it?

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I finally make it to the school, and of course, I’m late. The kids are all outside, and my niece spots me. She runs up, and I’m like, “Hey, kiddo!” But she’s not even listening. She’s too busy showing off her new backpack. I’m like, “Nice bag, but can we go? I’ve got places to be!”

Long-awaited free-to-use bike park opens in Northampton with something for everyone