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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I clocked her quick—fake lashes, chipped nails, probs a mum tryna eat. Sad, innit? Made me ragey—world’s a dumpster fire, pushin’ folks to this. But she was chill, cracked a joke—“What’s with the mask, Batman?”—and I’m wheezin’, like, “Love, I’m Bane, not that prat!” Had a giggle, eased the tension.

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Finally, we get back to my place, and I’m exhausted. I flop down on the couch, and my niece starts telling me about her day. I’m half-listening, half-dreaming about that cake. But then she says something that hits me. “Uncle, you’re my favorite!” And just like that, all the craziness of the day melts away.

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