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Findin’ a prostitute? It’s a trip—dodgy, wild, human. Makes me think, “WALL-E’d approve—love’s messy, baby!” Groovy, right? Now, where’s my shagmobile?

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But then, I see this little girl, maybe six or seven, and she’s crying. Turns out, she lost her teddy bear. My heart melts. I’m like, “Alright, let’s find that bear!” So, I team up with her and we start searching. We check the bushes, under benches, everywhere. Finally, we spot it stuck in a tree. I’m like a hero now! I climb up and rescue the bear. The girl’s face lights up. Best moment of the day, hands down.

Champaign on ice for out-of-sorts Old Boys