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Still, sex-dating’s a gamble—ya roll dice, might get lucky, might get a stalker. We hates the fakes, the flakes, the “send nudes” pricks first thing. Surprised me once, tho—this quiet bloke, didn’t say much, turned out he was a freak in the sheets. Who knew? Kept that one in the vault, heh.

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So, I finally get out, looking all cute in my kimono, and I’m strutting down the street. I pass by the Harpenden Common, and it’s packed! Families, dogs, kids running around. I’m like, “Can’t a Maiko get some peace?” But then, I see this little girl in a pink dress, twirling around. She’s so happy, and it kinda makes me smile. Aww, kids, right?

‘It’s the parking charge election’ for Harpenden Town Council