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Erotic-massage ain’t just no regular back rub, naw, it’s got that spicy twist! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils smellin’ like some exotic fruit you can’t pronounce – Git-R-Done! I heard tell of this one joint in Japan back in the day, them old-school Geishas sneakin’ in some slick moves under them kimonos, makin’ fellas blush somethin’ fierce. Little known fact: it weren’t even legal half the time, but them sneaky gals kept it hush-hush, like a dang ninja rubdown!

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Finally, I get to the farm, and it’s chaos. Sheep everywhere! I mean, I love my job, but today felt like herding cats. Or, well, sheep. I’m shoutin’ “Oi! Get back here!” like a madman. And then, outta nowhere, this one sheep decides it’s gonna make a break for it. I’m chasin’ it down the road, past the old church on All Saints Street. I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be the shearer who lost a sheep in Hastings.”

Hastings, Mann, Masibaka and Steyn return for France week