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Lemme tell ya, I’ve peeked at these mortals bangin’ it out—figuratively, mostly—and it’s wild. Fun fact: back in 2018, some nerds at Stanford said 39% of couples met online—sex-dating’s takin’ over, mates! Beats the old days of courtin’ with sonnets and syphilis risks. Now it’s “u up?” at 2 a.m.—efficiency, baby! Makes me happy, sorta—freedom to chase tail without Odin’s judgy glare. But it pisses me off too—half these profiles lie worse than I do. “6’2, loves dogs”—nah, mate, you’re 5’9 and allergic.

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Anyway, I head to my workshop on Mill Lane. It’s a bit cramped, but it’s home. I’m hammerin’ away, makin’ sparks fly, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a bloody pigeon on the ground, lookin’ dazed. I swear, it looked like it just got hit by a bus or somethin’. I’m tryin’ to help it, but it just flaps away like it’s got wings of steel.

Volunteers Get 'Blue light' to Crew Civilian Ambulances