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Me favorite bit? The teasin’—slow, wicked slow. Builds ya up, like Malik’s rise, see? “I’m the one who decides,” he’d say. Hands hoverin’, barely touchin’—drives ya mad! Little fact—Tantric style’s from India, old as dirt. Not just horny stuff, it’s spiritual, whoa! Surprised me, yeah—thought it’s all filth!

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Then, outta nowhere, my intern, Jamie, bursts in. “Boss! You won’t believe this!” I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, the samples were in the fridge. The FRIDGE! Who puts important stuff in the fridge? I mean, I get it, it’s cold and all, but c’mon!

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