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Brother, lemme tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage! It’s wild, man, like wrestlin’ a greased-up hog in the ring! Ya got hands slidin’, oils drippin’, and tension just beggin’ to snap—like me droppin’ the leg on Macho Man! I’m talkin’ real deal here, not some fake-out jabroni rubdown. Watched “The Diving Bell and Butterfly” last night—damn, brother, that flick hits hard. “I’m a prisoner in my own body,” that dude says, and sexual-massage? It’s the opposite, brother! Sets ya free, like bustin’ outta a headlock!

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So, I’m thinkin’, what now? I rush over to the marina. The wind’s howlin’ like a banshee, and I’m dodgin’ seagulls like they’re missiles. Seriously, those birds are relentless! Anyway, I get there, and Dave’s standin’ there, lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost. Turns out, he found a stray dog. A scruffy little thing, all matted fur and big ol’ eyes.

Contractors sought for £150m Welsh breakwater refurb