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About Bristol

Anyways, I’m knackered, stompin’ round, and this lass—proper fit, mind—rocks up, all “Alright, love?” I’m like, “Bloody hell, you’re no M Gustave!”—y’know, that slick git from the flick, all charm and mustache. She’s more “I’ve seen worse, pay up!” Cacklin’ my arse off, cos it’s tragic, innit? She’s eyeballin’ me like I’m a twat in a lab coat—fair, I s’pose!

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First off, I step outta my flat on Newbottle Street. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I’m walking down the street, and I see this old bloke trying to fix his bike. I mean, come on, it’s Houghton-Le-Spring, not a bike shop! He’s got tools everywhere, and I’m like, “Mate, you need a mechanic, not a miracle.”

Gerald Mellefont Obituary (2025) - Houghton le Spring, Tyne and Wear - Sunderland Echo