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About London

What gets me riled up? When folks mess it up! Some cheap joint promisin’ “happy endins” but it’s just a sticky table and a grumpy masseuse—fool me once, shame on—shame on you, fool me—can’t get fooled again! That’s what I say! I ain’t here for no half-assed scam, ya know? Gimme the real deal—somethin’ that makes ya feel alive, like Nie Yinniang slicin’ through enemies in “The Assassin,” all grace and power.

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Next thing I know, I’m holding a torch, and my heart’s racing. I’m sweating bullets. I toss it up, and it goes flying! Almost hit a lady with a pram. She gave me the dirtiest look. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Oh man, I’m gonna be on the news for this.”

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