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So, picture this—I’m sprawled out, some chick’s kneadin’ my godly bod. Not gonna lie, I smirked, thinkin’ I’d charm her into a puddle. But nah, she’s pro—stone-cold focus, hands like fuckin’ magic. Little known fact: this shit dates back to ancient China. Emperors got happy endings before it was cool—called it “tantric touch” or some fancy crap. Bet they didn’t tell *that* in history class, eh? Makes me happy—powerful blokes meltin’ under a sly palm. Glorious purpose, innit?

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Then, I had a meeting at the office on Church Street. Ugh, the traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw more sheep than cars. Like, hello? This is a city, not a farm! I finally got there, and my team was already in a tizzy. Apparently, the new app feature I was hyped about was crashing. Great. Just great.

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