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About Bristol

Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty dwarf— “I drink and I know things.” So, lemme tell ya bout escort— not them fancy ladies, nah, the Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture this: me, a carpenter, sawdust in me beard, cruisin in a beat-up Escort, 1980s vibe, total shitbox but I love it. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil trash-bot— “Directive?”— chuggin along, loyal as hell. Built me a custom shelf in the back once, for me tools, hammered it drunk— worked fine, wobbly like me after wine.

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But guess what? The café’s closed! Closed! I’m standing there, dripping like a wet dog, and the sign says “Back in 10 mins.” I’m like, “10 mins? I’ll be a drowned rat by then!” So, I decide to head over to the park, you know, the one by the Isleworth Mill? It’s usually nice, but today? Nah.

Isleworth stabbing: Victim named as Abdirashid Mohamoud