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Oh, and the johns—don’t get me started! Dudes payin’ 500 bucks for an hour? Hilarious! “I don’t understand your kind,” I’d say, quotin’ the movie. What’s missin’ in ya life, bro? Wife not enough? Job too dull? Gotta laugh—sex escort’s like a Band-Aid for the soul, temporary fix, man. I’d exaggerate and say they’re savin’ the world, but nah—just savin’ some lonely bastard’s night.

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Then, I decide to take a walk down by the Kelty Burn. It’s a nice spot, really. The water’s flowing, and it’s peaceful. But then, I see this group of kids playing football. They’re having a blast, but one of them kicks the ball too hard, and it lands right in the burn. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!”

Kelty beaten by Annan fight back in new manager's dugout bow