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What suprised me? How she’d eyeball ya, like she saw yer soul peel off, just like that alien in the flick. Creeped me out, but damn, I admired it. “You’re all just skin to me,” she’d smirk—total movie vibes! Made me chuckle, tho—imagine her pimp hearing that! Useless sod, he was—tried robbing me once. “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” sorted him quick.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Station Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered a flat white, thinking I’d start my day chill. But nah, the barista spills it all over me! Like, c’mon, mate! I’m not a coffee sponge! I was fuming, but then I saw this old bloke at the next table. He was chuckling, and I couldn’t help but laugh too.

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